I remember listening to a professor speak on epigenetics and DNA. He said that unresolved trauma becomes trapped energy. Cellular memories pass down from one generation to the next, until someone within the family tree changes their dysfunctional environment — which leads to the trauma being released. That release creates change, that change creates healing, and that healing removes sickness and trauma from being turned on or expressed within the genes.
The end result is healthy DNA to pass on to future generations. For me, ARCS is that professor’s words in action --- and the healing journey is that release and change.
My story does not involve drugs or alcohol. I was simply “over” the direction in which my life was headed. I was completely “burnt out” with life, with my career, and with not feeling complete.
I had broken up with a boyfriend that I thought was “the one”. I lived in a beautiful house, in an upscale neighborhood, and I drove a luxury sports car. My wardrobe was fancy. I was well liked, and I was known as the “go to” person within the corporation I worked for.
But, inside — I was empty. I was thirsty for nourishment to feed my soul. I knew I was ready for change, but I didn’t know what that change looked like or where to begin.
Then, one night, I was involved in a three car accident. I found myself sandwiched in between two cars while at a red light, and I took this as a sign that my “Higher Power” was “breaking the seal” to begin that change for which I had been longing.
I quit my job, sold my house, and got rid of all that material “crap”. I traveled a little bit, and I went on retreats in an effort to discover what I needed in my life for happiness.
I was a on a mission to find and reclaim myself. I just didn’t know exactly how I was going to do that and what was needed to make it happen.
All I knew was to set my intentions, and the Universe heard my cry. Looking back now, I know without any doubt that my “Higher Power” guided my steps towards Craigslist — where I discovered ARCS.
When I read the words, “heal and then show others how to heal”, a light of hope began to shine within me — 'I get to help others heal!... Yes!', is what I was thinking.
I am an innate nurturer. In fact, I was labeled the "office counselor” before I left my career. I would literally have a waiting list of people who needed to talk to me and, somehow, I would be able to help them answer their own questions just by allowing them to talk — so I knew that I would be good in a career such as that which was being described.
As I continued reading the attributes of what the ad was looking for in an individual, it was synchronistic to the qualities that I possessed. Even better, since I had been searching for a new career that was more aligned with my natural gifts and life purpose of service to others.
I knew that there would be personal healing involved too, but looking back, I actually felt more connected to the idea of healing the world than to the “healing yourself” aspect. Through ARCS, I’ve come to find this is actually a learned behavior that I inherited from having been raised by a mother who survived trauma, herself — always helping others, but never myself.
I remember my very first online class, at ARCS. My professor asked some of the other students to share with me, about what their healing journey in class had been like, so far.
Everyone had so many profound things to say about the program, that I could not help but thinking those people were being “extra” and “over the top” for the sake of the professor. I knew I was on the road to gain some newfound knowledge and to learn a new thing or two, but there was something inside of me that believed that a lot of it was just “hype”. I thought, “If it’s really that effective, then why aren’t people knocking down the doors to enter this program?”
It wasn’t until I got deeper into the ARCS lessons that I began to witness this program’s power. In identifying the first couple layers of dysfunction within my life, I soon realized this program to be Heaven-sent.
Later in my journey, the heavier revelations begin to appear. When those eye-openers were identified, it was therapeutic to be able to talk it out in class with my professor and fellow students. This program has provided me with so many avenues to get my feelings out and, then, to analyze them in a healthy manner.
Until I found ARCS, I never took into consideration that both of my parents where trauma survivors. Naturally, I witnessed and copied them — so, I behaved like a survivor even before I could experience my own losses and the hurt that life would bring my way.
Then, I lost my father at four years old and my sense of security and safety died with him. But regardless of the dysfunction, there was still so much love and bonding in my childhood — just not enough to feed me emotionally, when I lived in constant fear as a child.
When I began to listen to my fellow students’ stories and when they discussed the symptoms of their addictions, I could relate — even though I had never struggled with drugs or alcohol, and I didn’t consider addiction to be an area in which I needed healing.
It turned out, I was wrong. As I dived deeper into the course work, continued to attend class and listened to everyone else’s stories, I came to realize that I, too, have suffered from addiction. The only difference between their addiction verses mine, was they had identified their “drug of choice”. It took some digging for me to realize one of my compulsions was perfectionism, and that this perfectionism stemmed from not feeling “good enough” — and that this inadequate feeling originated from my childhood.
I would never have discovered these dysfunctions, without ARCS. One day, my professor explained how studies have shown that children with parents who survived the Holocaust behaved as if they were survivors, too — just from picking up on the behavioral patterns that their parents displayed. I started recognizing and discovering that I had inherited many of these behavior patterns, as well.
Having been raised by a mother who suffered in her own childhood from severe neglect as well as physical, sexual, mental, and verbal abuse — it was no wonder I had taken on every trait of a trauma survivor.
Finally, I was able to begin the process of fixing the void that I felt. It now made sense — why I could not fill it with the “perfect” career, or the “perfect” material items, or what I thought was the “perfect” relationship.
That void was the piece of me that went missing and, for the first time, I was bringing her back into my life. I began listening to what she was missing. I began healing what had made her hurt and shut down.
I had no idea that so much of me was shaped by trauma and hurt. I had no idea that I could communicate with my inner child and, through this process, begin healing my childhood trauma.
This program has also helped me to understand things that I’ve done wrong, as a parent. Today, I’m trying to be an example for my son to carry the torch of breaking dysfunctional cycles, as well.
Finally, I realized that I was a major enabler. At first, I thought it was only with personal relationship and family. Nope! I learned that an enabler is an enabler — wherever they go.
No wonder I so was “burnt out”! No wonder that, over the years in my career, I needed a new direction. I had been working overtime to keep up a perfect image — supplying everyone’s needs except my own. Trying to always be “the best” or “perfect” is an energy drainer!
I could see so much more clearly, now that ARCS was in my life. And there were moments when I cried because there were some ugly parts I had to face, but there was so much of me and in my emotions that had never really been acknowledged or dealt with.
I had to learn that my tears and feelings are a part of the healing journey — but the moments of release, the elations, and the ability to move forward is so worth it! Especially in my major breakthrough moments. It’s like a “quickening”, if I had to put it into words.
There were many times that my ARCS coursework would align with the actual situations and scenarios that were going on in my life, which made the learning and healing experience so much richer. Such feelings cannot be described with words — you would have to experience this journey, for yourself.
As for my career, the Universe opened a door for me to work in the behavioral health field while I was only six months into the program. I started off at the front desk. Then, I advanced to office management. And, now, I’ve transitioned into client relations where I handle highly sensitive information and clients.
I dived in and, in doing so, I found myself recreating the very same situations that I had created with all of my other jobs and careers. That need for perfection had “kicked in”, and I was once again an enabler in every sense of the word (or should I say, a “professional enabler”).
But the big difference is that I was aware of my patterns. I could see them clearly, for the first time! I would never have known this, had it not been for ARCS showing me how to identify cycles — and, then, break them.
There is so much beauty in being able to see unhealthy patterns and having the tools to break through them — to be able to redirect them and make them work toward your growth and your healing.
Not to mention, ARCS also taught me to build a support network, so I have an accountability partner at work and many others in my personal life. Those individuals have helped to save me from entering scenarios that I would otherwise have had to work to “dig" myself out of.
Like with any reprogramming or change, the brain will attempt to fall back to the familiar, especially when you have spent a lifetime in those compulsive behaviors. Accountability partners have helped me in making the reprogramming process so much smoother.
It is so empowering to know that no one can ever take this knowledge and these tools away from me. Not only do I understand myself much better, I have learned to understand others by deciphering what made them treat me the way that they did — which softened the blow of their actions a little bit. I am able to see people within the context of their own patterns.
Now, as I think back to my first class, I find myself silently apologizing to the ARCS students for thinking they were being “over the top” when describing their journeys. I truly get it now, and I cannot help but be “over the top” when talking about my healing journey with ARCS, as well.
I know we are living in uncertain times, so there are going to be some things which are going to require me to put my healing tools to use while coaching others along the way.
I have come a long way from that unsatisfied person searching in the darkness for my missing pieces. The people closest to me have noticed a difference, and this is only the beginning.
I don’t know what my life would entail if I never found ARCS, and I am forever grateful.
For anyone thinking about embarking upon the ARCS program, my advice is it will change your entire life.
Are you ready to begin a journey of transformation so grand it will change the story of your DNA?
Try a Free Online ARCS Class